Here's Your Letter
by Nyx Vasquez
Summary: Johnny cannot die he's figured that out himself. But he definitely does want to die, preferably sooner than later. The one way out is to go to his old girlfriend Devi D., the one that got away. Can she truly, with a clear conscience, kill Johnny? Ch. 4 up
1. Far From Perfect

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Here's Your Letter

A JtHM Songfiction

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By Hikariness and Kawaii-cha

Disclaimer– Well, this is for all the stupid-ass morons who are really convinced I own JtHM. But if everyone would _like _to think that I do... well that's okay too 3.

Song is copyrighted by the band Blink 182, but do I really care? No, 'cause I'm using it anyways. So everybody go to hell.

This will be a one shot songfic. Do not request for more chapters, as I will have to rip your arms off and hang them on meathooks. I like eggs. Thank you. Yes, I know my head is on fire.

_italics_ - song lyrics

**bold **- put emphasis on the word

/in dividers/ - Johnny's thoughts

in asterisks - Devi's thoughts

' _in little air coma thingys and in italics'_ - any fictional creatures such as Reverend Meat, Shmee, etc.

* * *

_Cut the skin to the bone_

_Fall asleep all alone_

_Hear your voice in the dark_

* * *

He huddled, alone, in the absolute darkest corner of his rarely used bedroom, crying silent tears from eyes won cold and tired over time. Shuddering, he folded his body upon itself yet tighter, clutching his legs to his chest and rocking back and forth. His face was completely buried in his chest, his silvery tears soaking the front of his ragged Happy Noodle Boy t-shirt and blurring the ink. For the first time since he was born, Johnny C. was truly crying. Not just over a Cherry Doom Brainfreezy or some small, pointless tears that might have accidentally escaped. This was different. Way different.

* * *

_Lose myself in your eyes_

_Choke my voice say goodnight_

_As the world falls apart_

* * *

He could see her clearly in his sharp mind's eye - Devi D., the one that got away. Lately she was all he could think about. How she smelled, the way she looked, hell, he even remembered the way she used to laugh when he got a brain freeze from drinking his Brainfreezy too fast. Ironic, wasn't it? His body convulsed in silent, choking laughter._ /I am so pitiful, crying like this,/_ he thought tiredly, leaning his back against the wall and releasing his numb legs from his iron grip. God, was he sore now. But he did feel a bit better.

* * *

_Fuck, I can't let this kill me– let go_

_I need some more time to fix this_

* * *

He shook himself violently, attempting vainly to fling this unwanted emotion from his lithe body. _/ You are Johnny C., _/ he thought. _/ You have no room for emotion. Hell, you have no **right** to have any emotion. You should have absolutely no sensation of that calibur by now. You need to do something about this, Nny. Now... /_

Johnny stood up slowly, taking his hardly used car keys from his pocket with no longer shaking hands. He knew what he had to do now. He had always known the answer, ever since he had met **her**. It was now or never.

He wiped the remnants of now-cold tears from his newly awakened eyes. It was time to finish this.

* * *

_Here's a letter for you_

_But the words get confused_

_And the conversation dies_

* * *

Devi focused on her painting again as another car door slammed. It was so damn noisy in this god-forsaken neighbor hood. Children crying, Tenna snoring, gang shoot-outs, women screaming about child abuse... but if she blocked them out there was always enough silence to paint.

The hours of the night were the best time to paint. Making this even better was the fact that Tenna was gone at her parents' house for the week. Her butt-ugly prick-ass older sister was getting married and her parents had absolutely insisted that Tenna (and of course Spooky) come. Devi smiled to herself, finally content. At last. She slipped into her dreamlike state again, not even fully aware of what she was painting anymore. If there really was a heaven, **this** was sure to be it... she was absolute on this fact.

Not even the clinking of two steel-toed boots scraping against the outermost wall of the flat could awaken her from this. And for that a certain homicidal maniac was very happy. He didn't want her to spot him, not yet. He needed to be inside her apartment. He wanted– no, **needed **her to do something for him. Or else.

When he was 6, one of his many foster families had bought him a South Park Cartman -Tested Actually Works! Breaking and Entering Kit, and he had been so proud. He had learned everything there was to know about breaking and entering during the 13 months he was with that lame-ass family. Then he found out that the brother and sister were committing incest and, with the parents not wanting anyone to find out, they kicked him out at the age of 7. He went and told the cops anyways.

He was quite glad for those skills right now– he was having a difficult time making his way up the flat, vertical plane that was the side of Devi's building. God, he wanted to strangle Tenna for having an apartment up this fucking high. Well, maybe that could be arranged, he laughed evilly.

* * *

_Apologize for the past_

_Talk some shit– take it back_

_Are we cursed to this life?_

* * *

Finally, panting with exertion, he reached his goal– Devi's windowsill. As he sat there, watching, it became apparent to him how strikingly beautiful she was. Her well- defined features, bright green eyes, her purple hair caught into two small pigtails on the back of her shapely head... what a godsend she was. Damn, how he loved her. And that smell, God, that smell. Her scent was like no other's– like a mix of acrylic paint, rain, and just something about her made her smell like the night. The sweet scent of midnight, the colors of the stars and the sky, the wind rustling though the trees... and it was all perfectly combined into the perfect scent of one Devi. His Devi. And he'd be damned if anybody else could have her.

She had left her window wide open. A good thing for the maniac, possibly a bad thing for her. He gently pried it open, knowing she wouldn't hear anyways, but he didn't want to break anything. He was on her turf now.

He carefully slid his skinny form in through the window space, able to see the full form of Devi now. And as he stood there, motionless, in her living room, he realized that if she didn't kill him now he would have to try killing himself again, turning himself into the police, or just begging on his knees to please be able to stay, just for a little while, with her. And that was the point when Johnny C. realized something that would become the turning point in his life– his life was nothing without Devi. And she was here now, with him again... he felt he could die happy. Which was what he was here to attempt to do.

* * *

_Fuck I can't let this kill me– let go_

_I need some more time to fix this problem_

_I need some more time to fix this problem_

_I need some more time to fix this– _

* * *

She was painting him for what seemed like the 87,000,000th time since that fate-filled night over 7 months ago. The contours of his face were so familiar to her now– eyes rubbed dark by insomnia, silky hair colored raven, delicate yet jagged facial structure that seemed so close when she closed her eyes... but so far away when she opened them.

She painted in another familiar figure right next to him, and at first she wasn't sure who this person was, sitting on the hood of the T-Bird while he leaned off the front fender. She painted for a while in silence, trying to figure out who this person was. And she didn't figure out who it was until she painted in the last sliver of a silvery moon, bright tears sliding down her face.

"Such a beautiful night..." she whispered, half expecting someone to answer the words that had been spoken gently so long ago, the other half expecting to hear the deafening silence encroaching.

And someone answered. At long last, someone answered.

"Yeah... it is." a familiar figure said quietly, stepping out of the shadows with a soft, almost warm smile gently gracing his beautiful features, the ones she so vividly remembered from a tragedy so long ago.

"N-Nny?" she choked out, not believing the one she had so long wished for but so feared was here.

"Yeah, Devi... it's really me."

As Johnny took a step closer, Devi took a step backwards. "D-Don't come any closer. Please..."

* * *

_I'm talking to the ceiling_

_My life just lost all meaning_

_Do one thing for me tonight_

_I'm dying in this silence_

* * *

"Devi... why are you so afraid?" he asked her composedly, showing her his hands, turning around in a full circle and even taking off his shoes to show her– he meant no harm to her, he hid no weapons.

"It's not that easy to forget what you did, Nny! You tried to kill me! I hate you, you fucker! I've hated you for so long, damn it, I hate you, I hate you...."

Devi's voice trailed off and she sank to her knees. "I-I don't hate you..."

Johnny sank to his own knees in front of her and stared intently at her. "Devi... I need you to do me a favor..."

Devi looked up at him, her eyes swelling with tears. "What?"

Johnny pulled a razor blade out of his pocket and she jumped back. "Oh God no, you're going to kill me, oh Gods..."

The man smiled and stood up, walking towards her and gently restraining her as she tried to punch him. "No, Devi, I won't kill you.... I need you to **kill me**."

Devi stood there, shocked, her hand hanging limply in his light grip. " W-wha...?"

He let go and she slumped dazedly to the floor, her eyes loosely focused on him.

Johnny began to pace the room, starting his spiel.

"I've always wanted to be the one they found, the body hanging off the bridge, the corpse in the street; the maniac who jumped from a building. At one point, I thought I was going to be okay, I didn't want to die anymore, I felt no remorse for what I had done, no repent for my many sins. That was up until I met you, Devi."

She stared at him with those eyes he loved so much, her bright green eyes shining with disbelief, not speaking.

"When I met you, I began to feel again, I mean really **feel**. I felt... happiness, joy, and I began to feel remorse for everything that I had done. The pressure was weighting me down inside. So I had to get rid of you to become cold again, therefore I tried to kill you. Yes, I see how that could possibly be construed as a bad thing. But they were also pressuring me, Devi, the voices– the Doughboys, Reverend Meat... all of them. To kill you. But things didn't go as planned, obviously– you bashed my head in (causing severe hemmoraging, by the way), and escaped. The flaw was, even before you almost killed me, that I knew I could never really kill you. I was, and am, in love with you. And... I figured you'd never feel the same way anyways, and... and..."

* * *

_The last star left in heaven_

_Is falling down to Earth and_

_Do you still feel the same way_

_Do you still feel the same way?_

* * *

He sat down in front of her, tears spilling silently from his dark eyes, and tilted her chin up so her eyes were locked with his.

"Devi... do you love me?"

The tears spilled over onto Devi's cheeks as she nodded her answer silently.

He smiled gently. "I-If you really love me, Devi... then you have to let me die. I can't take this anymore, I can't live life, I can't take this emotion, I can't live with this remorse I need to d–"

He was cut off as their lips finally locked, ending what they had started so long ago and the finality of this, the moment of this final happiness was so overwhelming to Johnny that the tears overflowed and he sank into her, finally and truly happy.

Devi broke off the kiss, grinning radiantly through her tears.

"You know I could never kill you, Nny...."

He enveloped her in a hug. "I was kind of hoping you wouldn't anyways..." He kissed her again and the magic flowed through the two maniacally, twisting and seeking every crevace to fill, every wound to heal. For the first time in his life since the incident, Johnny C. was finally happy.

She couldn't believe this was Nny, the Nny who avoided all contact, the Nny who tried to kill her, the Nny who actually **loved** her, kissing her in the middle of her living room floor, with only a dimming fluorescent light for company. And she couldn't believe he was a homicidal maniac anymore, not after this– but she knew he could never stop being a flusher, not really. He would always kill, she would just have to accept that, but she knew in her heart she already had.

* * *

_Fuck I can't let this kill me– let go_

_I need some more time to fix this problem_

_I need some more time to fix this problem_

* * *

The light flickered out and the maniac and the artist were enveloped in the dark, Devi curled up against Johnny, with only a shaft of white hued moonlight for company.

"Devi," Johnny said, "thank you for everything..."

There was no reply. Devi had finally fallen asleep, curled against the man.

Johnny only smiled and pulled her closer, curling his arm around her waist and burying his head in her shoulder, and began to drift off to long-awaited sleep. He knew now, in the end it would all be okay.

* * *

_I need some more time to fix this...._

* * *

The pair fell asleep, meshed together on the wood floor, as they were always meant to be. Finally at peace.

Finally, the girl and boy sitting together in the picture could smile and gaze at the stars together, finally happy, as they had never found it before, but on the canvas of the night everything was perfect.

The light glinted softly off of the long forgotten razor blade laying at their heads, never to be used again but always in memory, for this night was the turning point for two lives.

While life may look perfect in the movies, it is rarely or never perfect on the real canvas of life, stretched out over so many long years. But the years of their youth were the ones they had to enjoy the most, and that was a lesson they both still had to learn. And while life would always, always be punishing and cruel to the two, Johnny and Devi, at every twist and turn, they could not help but look forwards to what was coming next. Together.

_fini._

please review!!! this is my first Johnny fanfiction and I really want reviews!!!!! onegai? Be kind to the insomniac! (No, really, I am.) (Sweatdrop)


	2. Death Is In Love With Us

Here's Your Letter

A JtHM FanFiction

By Nyx (TragicNyx)

Formerly Known as The Insomnia Factor

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**Notes: **Before anybody says anything, let me get something straight - Yes, I know I promised that there would NOT be another chapter to **Here's Your Letter **and told everyone it was a one-shot... 

... but I couldn't just leave it hanging! I had the best idea all of a sudden and it fit in so perfectly with the storyline that I had to concede defeat and write this chapter. So NO, I will not be ripping off your arms and hanging them on meathooks if you request another chapter. Infact, every type of review is welcomed much ! So review, review, review...!

I THINK I'm going to tie this in to my latest songfic, **Eulogy**. Then after that, my longest JtHM fanfic ever, which I will give you the prologue to after this chapter - **Prelude To Tragedy.** Me writey you likey, eh? EH? Okay, on with it... (gets shocked with Tazer)

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**Disclaimer - **No, I don't own Johnny the Homicidal Maniac OR the song 'Here's Your Letter' by the almighty Blink 182. Both are copyrighted, but do I care? No, because I'm using them anyways. If you don't like it, go to hell. If threre is a hell, that is, which I really doubt.

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**Warning - **Authoress writing this story is completely insane. Do not listen to anything she says as it is all psychobabble. But read the story and review anyways. I like strawberries. Yes, I know my head is on fire! I love you, my little head wound...

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_italics - _thoughts 

**bold - **voices, die-ary entries

underline - death

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**Chapter Two - **Death Is In Love With Us

* * *

He was drowning. 

He could feel his lungs slowly decompressing into nothing but dead weight, yet he refused. Refused to let in the water that was ever so slowly killing him with every breath he _didn't _take. This couldn't be real. Not now. Not when he was so happy.

Him?

Happy?

Those two words sounded so foreign in the same sentence. Him, Johnny C., being... happy? The raven haired man faintly smiled as he felt his body continually screaming for air.

Why couldn't he come up? This thought slowly registered in his air-deprived brain and, with some struggle, he opened his violet eyes and looked skyward, up and out of his watery grave. There was no one there; his brain functioned enough to at least still comprehend that fact.

**Yes, there is.**

_What? _he thought feebly, closing his eyes and racking his barely-functioning mind weakly to figure out who that damned disembodied voice belonged to. _No, there isn't._

**Yes there _is_, Nny. You're just not looking hard enough. Double-take, won't you?**

Nny felt a compelling drive to do what the voice told him to, but refused weakly.

_I don't have to._

**LOOK, Nny! Behold your fate! Take it in your arms and embrace it! You're dying!**

This time, the raven-haired teen merely opened his eyes and looked.

The voice was right.

It was Devi.

**Ha, **the voice sniggered, **you're dying. She's killing you, don't you get it? After saving you, too. How ironic.**

_No! _he screamed mentally, furiously struggling while the adrenaline still rushed though his veins. But still she held his head down, and still the voice laughed.

Johnny closed his eyes, not accepting his fate but knowing it was inevitable. With a sudden inhale, he invited the water into his collapsed lungs, which became confused and attempted to reject it. Still he persevered, letting the cursed water stay in his body until he couldn't take it anymore.

**Ha ha!**

He felt a tear slip from his eye and dissolve into his watery grave.

**You're dead...**

Then everything went black.

* * *

Johnny woke up with an abrupt start, pressing a shaking hand against his furiously beating heart. Devi and him had gotten back together over 3 months ago, and nightmares had plagued him ever since, each time ending with his or her death. Tonght's was nothing compared to some of the horrors he had faced at the hands of sleep.

He turned his head to the hallway where the purple-haired girl was asleep in his bed. They traded places every other day, her in the bedroom half the week and on the couch the other half. _If today is Thursday, _he mused, _then tomorrow is my day for the bedroom..._ Nny smiled half-heartedly. He would give up his bed for her any night, and she knew it. Besides, he rarely ever used the bed nor the couch. He wasn't prone to sleeping.

Johnny got up and walked silently to his bedroom where Devi slept, feet not even making a noise on the hardwood floor. Past the bathroom, past the room with all the broken stuff in it, and past the spare bedroom. Finally the dark-haired teenager made it to his bedroom and pushed open the door ever so slightly, spying his diary on the dresser and grabbing it silently. He strode over to the window and sat down on the sill, pushing the replaced window open and feeling the warm breeze. Turning his head to the left, he watched Devi's body rise and fall in a pale shaft of moonlight, asleep on the thin mattress.

_She is beautiful, _Nny thought absentmindedly, pushing a raven lock of hair behind his ear. And she was. Her hair down, flowing all over the pillow and shining violet in the soft white light. Her shapely body, floating up and down as she breathed. Nny, semi-distracted, chewed on the end of his pen and forced himself to tear his eyes away from her. _You came over here to write, stupid, _he berated himself. _Write!_

He pressed the pen to the paper and words formed without him even processing what he was doing.

**Dear Die-ary,**

**We, as humans, have many faults. Knowing this does not merely give you the inhibition to believe that you, in the process of this, are better than anyone else. It does not. It simply gives you the satisfaction that you, indeed, acknowledge that and accept it fully. I have 'accepted' this fact and have learned it well. The fire may have burned my memory away but as soon as I returned, the art of 'knowing' was again re-established and I was forced to remember that mankind is more deluded than previously thought. It may have been a while but my mind is still fucked up, all the circuits misfiring and disconnecting at random intervals...**

**... I think I'll go wake Devi up now. Don't know what I'd do if she didn't th - **

"N-Nny?"

He snapped the small, bloodstained book shut abruptly and turned to face her. "Ah, Devi, you're awake. I didn't expect you up this soon..."

Devi grinned sleepily up at him from between the rumbled sheets. "It's your habits wearing off on me. You're a bad influence, you know that?" Her pearly white smile grew wider.

The violet-eyed teen grinned sheepishly. "Uh, yeah, maybe I should do something about being that way..."

"Yeah, you should."

"What! I didn't expect you to agree!"

"Ha! You knew I would."

"No, I didn't! Honestly!"

"You set yourself up for it!"

"Ah, you're gonna pay for telling me that!"

He flung himself onto the bed and began tickling her furiously. "Gotcha!"

"Ah! Hahaha! N - haha - Nny, s-stop it! Haha!"

This only provoked him to tickle her more, digging into her sides and stomach.

"I-I'm gonna - haha - get you, Nny!"

The violet-haired girl flipped him on his back, reversing the situation, but he immediately flipped her back over and ceased tickling.

"T-Truce?" he panted, laughing.

"Y - haha - Yeah!"

The couple lay there in the wide shaft of moonlight, not saying anything, but enjoying the other's company all the same.

* * *

"I'll be right back! Is there anything else you want?" 

He smiled and waved her away. "No. Drive carefully."

"Okay! See you later then!"

The lock clicked shut. Devi had gone to pick up some things at the supermarket.

Nny smiled at the door and sat down on the couch, drifting into a trance-like state.

His mind was blank.

He was floating, drifting around like so many pieces of confetti on a windy day.

He was calm.

He was the epithet of tranquillity.

"What's this, Nny? You're calm?"

Johnny was snapped out of his calm place on the living room couch. "What? Who the hell is this?"

"Me? No one you need to worry about yet."

He looked around, angry at the intruder for destroying his peace. "Yes, I do. WHO ARE YOU? Why ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE?"

"I told you, don't worry about me!"

"I HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW! TELL ME BEFORE I STRANGLE YOU WITH A PHONE CORD, CHOP YOU INTO LITTLE BITS AND FEED YOU TO THE SHARKS! WHO ARE YOU!"

"Ha! You, kill me? You couldn't, mortal. No one can. Let me introduce myself. I am Death. By the way, what sharks? There's no ocean near here."

"Death? What the fu - ..."

"Yes. I'm Death. And I'm here to gather you!"

"Wha - no. I've already died once, and I do have to say it wasn't a very pleasant trip."

"Come on, think about it, Nny. The big picture. Death is merely the completion of life! The cherry on top. The icing on the cake. The whole cheese-filled chalupa. You've ended so many lives, you must have some semblance of knowledge as to what I'm talking about."

"No! I know what you're trying to do. You're just a voice. Besides, I don't think I could die, even if I wanted to! How the hell do you think I'm back here! I may know what you're talking about, but I don't necessarily agree that ending my own life is something I should look forward to."

"You don't have a choice, Nny. You will come. You're my slave, you know? Like a master/laborer deal."

"NEWSFLASH, DEATH! I AM A SLAVE TO NO ONE! I JUST GOT DONE WITH THAT AND I'M ENJOYING IT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!"

"You're always a slave to something..."

"NO! SHIT! NEVER! I HATE YOU! GET THE FUCK OUT! NOW!" His peace-time shot to hell, Nny went into a senseless rage, looking furiously around for something that could be Death.

If possible, Death's voice grew colder with every word he spoke.

"Too bad, Nny. I love you guys, you and Devi. And if you don't come willingly..."

Death let a suspense-filled pause fill the room.

"... we're going to have to do this the hard way."

* * *

**End Chapter Two**

* * *

So, what did you all think? Sorry if the writing's a bit off. I'm so depressed right now... 

This chapter is dedicated to the only real friend who went away. Two days ago. Nice timing, right?

Read and review, won't you? It'll make me feel better... I think...

Posted 2:25 a.m. 2/16/05'


	3. Play Crack The Sky Moshi Moshi?

Here's Your Letter

A JtHM FanFiction

By Nyx (NightNyx)

**Notes - **Hello, everyone, and welcome to the third chapter of **Here's Your Letter**.　It's actually quite amazing it's come this far 'cause it was originally intended to be another shitty one-shot. But here I am, typing the third chapter!

So I'm not actually as happy as I may sound. Who cares, though? Caffeine does weird things to me...

**Disclaimer - **No, I do NOT own JtHM or the song **Here's Your Letter **by the lovely Blink 182 (attempts to kidnap Tom). Heh... Both are REALLY heavily copyrighted but do I care? No, 'cause I'm using them anyways. If you don't like it go somewhere else. I like strawberries. Yes, I know my head is on fire...

**WARNING - **If ANYONE attempts to kidnap this story I shall beat them up or simply let Jeremy (ew!) loose on their heads. This story, as of this point in time, is my LIFE. So leave me alone. Or else... lifts trap on Jeremy's cage

* * *

Chapter Three - Play Crack The Sky (Moshi Moshi?)

* * *

It burned. 

She knew that much, at least, the stinging sensation merely serving as a feeble reminder that she was alive for at least this long. Her hands were bound behind her and her feet were tied to a stake, shoved mercilessly into the cold soil that seemed such a sharp contrast to the heat of the bright fire.

Devi wriggled her hands, desperately trying to get free while she still had the chance. She knew that if she could escape soon enough, she could break through the wall of fire suffering only first-degree burns. But if it came in any closer... she visibly shuddered to think of what would happen if it did, indeed, come down to that.

The purple-haired girl opened her green eyes and was only slightly shocked to see that the well had moved in closer. The blaze was astounding, seeming to reach all the way up to the stars and go back down. Raven of the night was interrupted jarringly by a white inferno, a stark black-and-white contrast in her line of vision. Tearing her eyes away sharply, she focused on the problem at hand. The rope was tied in a way that made her struggles tighten it and bind her further to her stake.

_This seems alot like the Salem Witch Trials,_ she mused, closing her eyes to shield them against the heat. Devi was quite unusually calm for someone who was facing death in the face.

**You're right. It does, doesn't it? **A voice echoed in her head. She felt the heat get hotter as the circle moved ever inward, encasing her in a fiery haze no one could possibly see through.

_What the... who the hell are you?_ the purple haired girl asked, snapping open her eyes and spinning her head wildly, but to no avail. The disembodied voice seemed as if it didn't belong to any physical body.

**Names, names. A name is merely a label; it doesn't really tell who you are. Let's not get too formal here. Besides, if you're going to die anyw - ooh! Watch out there, it's getting a little close...**

Devi looked down only to find the fire lapping like hellish waves at the base of the wooden stake. She attempted to pull her feet back, but finally the fire caught onto the hem of her trenchcoat and began its rapid descent upward.

"No!" she screamed, twisting and turning in a futile attempt at life. But the fire either didn't notice or simply didn't care about her state of panicked distress and decided to burn the bottoms of her shoes.

**Didn't I just tell you? It's futile. You're going to die here, helpless and alone. And guess who set the fire?**

"NO!" she screamed, even as the fire burned her legs mercilessly. She knew what the 'voice' was getting at. "It wouldn't! It couldn't be!"

**Oh, but you know it is. He's killing you, Devi dearest, burning you alive. And all this time you thought he changed... how quaint.**

The fire reached her arms and as her skin bubbled and popped like boiling water she howled in sheer agony, letting her head drop down onto her chest. She admitted defeat and let the fire consume her.

**Hey Devi, do you understand what I'm trying to say to you?**

It caught and sparked in her hair, burning her scalp, but she was too far gone by now to even care. She was in a state of painless lucidity, hanging on her post as she was. A burning effigy of all that had come to pass up to that point.

Devi's last thought? - _Bye, Nny._

Tears slipped down her face silently and dissolved with small sizzles into the all-consuming fire.

**Oops! You're dead!**

A single tear was seen falling down her face before the fire roared higher and she was swallowed whole.

When the end came, she welcomed it.

＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿

This time, it was Devi who woke up screaming and crying. The dream had seemed so real this time, nothing like the last few nights. Everyone was so stressed now, including her. Nny would go off on tangents for hours at a time, then disappear randomly and not come back until early morning. Tenna would go raving all night and come back in the morning, covered in sweat and drunk as ever. Squee spent more and more time at Pepito's house, but that could simply be a normal behavior pattern. It had been three years sicne then, and the ten year old Squee had grown into a gothic teenager. _Considering his circumstances_, she mused, _I'd want to live at my friends' houses too. _Squee's (Todd's) mother had died a little over a year ago, and Todd had only his father left. _And God knows how much HE cares._

The green-eyed girl wiped her tears from her eyes and swept her now-longish violet hair behind her ears. It had gotten much longer in the years since the apartment incident. The floor where the oil paints were spilled, albeit accidentally, she had paid for. Tenna still lived there, and Devi was finally in the process of moving in with Nny. Of course they weren't sharing a bed, and that might have made her a prude if not for the fact that the relationship that she and Johnny shared was far different than the ones that the rest of mankind shared.

Devi sat back a bit, leaning for support on the back of the couch. As they did frequently, her thoughts drifted to Nny and what he could be doing. He swore he had given up manslaughter and the killing, but she wasn't so sure. Nny had been set in his ways for so long, who knew if the homicidal tendencies still remained. And she of all people knew how hard it was to be fixed after you'd been broken for so long.

Hercellphone rang, shocking her out of her Nny-reverie. Almost sluggishly, she moved over to the small table near the door and picked it up. "Hello?"

"Devi?" a voice whispered, almost nonexistent through the faulty telephone lines.

"Todd? Is... Is that you?" Devi spoke into the phone loudly.

"Squee! Shh! Please, Devi, he might hear you!"

"Todd? Who might hear? Todd, what's happening!" she whispered worriedly, getting the faintest sense that something was terribly wrong with this late-night call. Not that getting a call from your pre-adolescent next-door neighbor wasn't scary in itself.

"My dad. He's home, with this... _woman,_ and he's drunk, and he's hurting her, and... SQUEE! Devi, come help!"

Loud noises erupted from Squee's end of the line, causing him to make a sharp noise in habitual fear. A gunshot. Then the sound of something heavy hitting the floor.

"DEVI! He shot her! My dad shot her! She's... oh my God, she's dead..."

"Shh, Squee, stay quiet. You don't want him to find you. Stay on the line with me, I have to find Nny. He'll help. I don't think there's much I could do on my own."

Devi stood up abruptly and, without grabbing anyhing but slipping on her black Chuck Taylors, headed for the door with Squee connected to her through her cell. She opened the door to immediately find Nny, on the front porch about to unlock the door, with two Cherry Doom brainfreezies in his hands. One look at her face and the cellphone attached to her ear instinctively told him something was terribly wrong.

"Devi?" he began to say, but a phone was pressed to his ear. A loud shouting erupted from it almost instantaneously.

"Todd? Todd, where are you? Daddy's not gonna hurt you... no he won't..."

Soft whimpering was heard. Johnny looked to his right, off his front porch, and saw Squee's house dark except for the front room. A dark substance splattered the single window in the sparsely decorated room.

"Please... Nny Help... Dad, he's coming... he killed that woman, and now he's coming to get me..."

A loud shout of "TODD!" exploded from both the house and the phone. "I KNOW YOU'RE HERE, DAMMIT! COME TO DADDY, YOU LITTLE SHIT!"

Nny spoke quickly, knowing there was little-to-no time left for one Todd Casil. "Squee," he spoke into the phone, "stay quiet. Devi, stay at the house. Squee's going to be over here in a minute. I'm coming, Squeegee. Don't worry."

With that, he tossed the phone to Devi and dashed as fast as humanly possible across his front yard and slipped in through the front door. He was now in Squee's house.

* * *

Enraged howls and crashes emerged from the dark upstairs. Swiftly and silently, he followed the noises until he reached to top of the stairs. Then the noises stopped. He slunk closer and closer to Squee's room, where he knew he had to be, and looked in. There was Squee's dad, holding a knife over something. "Now Todd, Daddy's not going to hurt yo-ou..." 

The 'something', which Johnny now knew to be Todd, lashed out voluntarily and struck Mr. Casil in the jaw. It was quick work for Johnny to run over and get the deranged man in a headlock after that. "Squeegee?"

Todd emerged from under the blanket where he had been hiding, and Johnny felt a rush of anger. Not at the tears Squee was involutarily shedding, but at the blood. It was streaming from open wounds and abrasions all over his body. He tightened his grip and let out a feral growl. "Did..." Johnny could barely control his anger. "Did he do that to you?"

Todd merely nodded once, yes, and let his head hang down lower. Somewhere around ground level, a voice screamed. "TODD? TODD, WHERE ARE YOU!"

"You called Pepito?" Nny asked, still struggling to keep his rage under control. This was helped by the fact that Mr. Casil was turning purple. "Good. He can take you to my place. Devi'll be there. Go now."

Todd gave one last dejected nod before he walked past the dead woman and past his father sadly, giving him a hate-laden glare as he did so.. "Bye, 'Dad'," he growled, "see you in Hell." And with those words, Squee left and turned his father over to Johnny, who wasn't in the least unhappy anymore.

* * *

Cliff-Hanger

So ends yet another chapter of **Here's Your Letter**. I'm sick (physically and mentally) again, and am feeling extremely shitty and depressed. Yes, at the same time. Maybe review will make me feel better?

THIS chapter is dedicated to a reviewer of mine, **The gone kitty cat**, who was pressured off of by some dumb bitches who decided her stories weren't good enough for them. She's only twelve, people, give her a break! I mean, I'm only thirteen myself, and I've been flamed twice by dumbasses who think they're so smart for assuming that I would go so low as to plagiarize off of other people! I would never do that! Only people who are desperate enough to have people they don't even KNOW review and say they liked something would do that; it's sad. But back to **The gone kitty cat**'s dilemma - you shouldn't be pressured into leaving something you love. FanFiction is supposed to be a place where you can express your feelings, no matter how you write or who you're writing for. It's not - or shouldn't be - like school, a place where you get pressured every single day by your peers into being or doing something you don't want to or are not. It sucks. So here's to you, **The gone kitty cat**, no matter if you're still here or not. (By the way, I didn't review for your stories, but I did like them alot.)

Tragically Yours,

Nyx (NightNyx)

By the way, sorry SeldomSorrow, I haven't emailed you in a while have I chica? I couldn't find the picture of Natsumi, but when I do, I'll send it to you. What did you think of this chapter? Love ya chickie!


	4. Warm As The Bullet

**Here's Your Letter**

_A JtHM Song/FanFiction_

By Nyx Vasquez

* * *

**Author's Note:** Yes, yes I KNOW, quit your bitchin'! I'm back with another chapter, so calm down and take a chill pill. The Nyxster is BACK! I had the WORST writers' block for almost everything I was doing. Now, I'm even at a standstill with **Futility**, and I just started that!

I have no idea what's going to go on in this chapter. I'm writing because I've read everything on the forums, and posted there more often than I can count. Plus, I'm full of itching anxiety for **Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince** to come out. I reserved it at Toys R' Us for my birthday (which was waaaaay effing back in March) and get to pink it up ANYTIME after 12:01 A.M. on Saturday, July 16. Plus, I get a free t-shirt with it. So nyaaaaah on you; I can't wait. But I'm talking out all of my nervous energy on writing and reading and listening to music and being on the internet and annoying people... even more so than usual, which is alot if I do say so myself... and I do say so myself.

Anyways, enough with the stalling. On with the chapter.

* * *

**Disclaimer:** Ah, fuck it, I don't own JtHM.

I swear alot, don't I? All the time. I gotta stop that...

...fucking shit.

* * *

**Chapter Four** - Warm As The Bullet

* * *

The blindfold was on him now, though it was so sheer he could see through it as easily as a light fog. He could see the firing squad lined up in front of him, assembling their semi-circle that would be the means to his doom. He never did like geometry, anyways. _Fuck you, semi-circles, circles are way more fun!_

Johnny strained a bit against the bindings, testing them for looseness, but they were tight as... _a tight thing,_ he finished to himself. _And I am as excited as... an excited thing. Or Dora the Explorer on crack._

But why was he excited? He couldn't remember when, or why, but he had quit longing for death to claim him. Infact, now that the dark-haired teen thought about it, all his memories were a bit dim. Every memory that he tried to recall took a lot of effort and were... staticky... at best.

Except for when he killed.

That was all he could remember. Every kill he had ever made. The times, the places, the reasons, the whos, the hows. Gleefully, he mentally scrolled down the list of kills.

_Edgar... he was a good man. Why did I go through with it? Granted, he was the closest, but why **couldn't** I have gone out and gotten one of those wheezy street robots? He seemed okay. But the wall... the wall needed food..._

_Jimmy. That ignorant, idealizing little putrid shit. A waste of my... talents. His weapons weren't even worth spitting on._

_...and Devi... but I didn't kill her..._

Then he remembered. That was why, that was why, she was why he wanted to... _live..._

The violet eyed boy struggled against his bonds, furiously screaming obscenities against the foul gag that took residence in his mouth. Then he remembered... he had a slim dagger hidden up his sleeve! He slid it out...

"...Ready, squad, on my mark..."

_No no no no no, oh Gods no, Devi, no, no, fucking NO!_ The knife wouldn't work against the bonds. Nobody seemed to notice his efforts. He redoubled them, working furiously.

"...aim..."

_I don't want to fucking DIE anymore, don't you understand? I want to live, I want to **live**, I just want to... I never..._ The knife was dead. Angry tears worked their way into the fibres of the gauzy eye mask, through them he could see the masked squad lined up and aiming for right under his heart.

**"Too bad she doesn't care anymore, Nny... she wants to die too..."**

And under one of those masks that the men wore... were forest eyes... and violet hair.

_No... **Devi**..._

"...fire!"

Sixteen guns cocked. Sixteen shots rang out. Sixteen shells clattered to the ground.

One bullet went in.

One person was left for dying midnight eyes to view.

They took off their mask and stepped towards him.

Blood soaked his lips, bubbling from between them.

Devi stepped towards him, taking off his mask as his eyes clouded over, and a warm surge of something unidentified surged through his slowly freezing body as she grabbed the sides of his face with her hands and kissed his dying lips, even as his head drooped forward onto his chest.

"Sorry, Johnny. It just wasn't meant to be..."

With the last strength he had, he lifted up his head to kiss her back, one last time. As she stepped away, he could see the blood thinly veiling them. His blood.

"But it c-coul-d... h-have been..."

"It was. But now it's over."

Then he died.

* * *

From the bedroom in Devi's apartment, two people woke up kicking and screaming.

* * *

"W-why... can't this... just end!" Devi sobbed, shaking in Johnny's arms.

A lone tear worked it's way down the violet-haired man's cheek. "I don't know, Devi. I really don't."

"B-but... I... can't deal with this... a-anymore!"

His eyes widened. "You mean..."

"I..." She took a deep breath. "We need t-to find a solution."

He visibly relaxed.

"Of course we will. We'll find one, and stop all this shit, okay?"

"We can... try?"

"Well, we've been trying for the last few months, but of course. I'm sure we'll find one. I'll do every fucking thing I possibly can to find a solution to this, or my name isn't Nny!" He said it with the bravery of a nine year old kid, but somehow Devi found comfort in that. He wasn't totally sure of himself, and he wasn't Mr. I'm-Not-Afraid all the time.

"Your name... isn't Nny."

"Um... so? MY name can be Nny if it wants to! And rainbow monkeys will fly out of my ass if it isn't!"

She giggled. "Whoa, look at that purple one's head sticking out..."

"WHERE! HOLY SHIT, NOT REALLY, RIGHT? YOU'VE GOTTA BE..."

"Relax, Nny, I was only..."

_Mr. Oblivio strikes again,_ she thought, reassured and reassuring.

* * *

**End Chapter Four**

* * *

Okay. So sue me, I was listening to Say Anything while writing this, and that's where I got the idea. "And if they kill me, your love will fill me, warm as the bullet..."

I've got an idea of where I'm goin with this now. I know this was short, but the next chapter will be up soon.

--Nyx


End file.
